Whaŧ’s diàcriticál abǒüt thåt?

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Sómǝthîng ŧhät thè €ngłish Ļanǧu@ge i$ clǝarlÿ mi§§ing iŝ ä løåd õf fūň điǟcritiçś!

Ok, I can’t summon the energy or the patience to do that for an entire post, so I’m going back to good ol’ basic English!
It is strange though how diacritics (the little marks added to letters to give them a specific phonetic value) are absent from the English language, considering that they are present in many other European languages; French, German, Swedish, Polish, Spanish, Croatian, Lithuanian, and my very own Irish, to name a few.
Part of me likes diacritics (the part that thinks they look cool; see the above diacritical sentence) and part of me thinks they’re just another way for languages to trick us by sounding different to how they look. Also, I do not like that each different diacritic has been given its own individual and complicated-to-remember name (acute, grave, breve, háček, tilde, macron… who can remember them all!). Therefore if I ever have to use a diacritic, I simply describe what it looks like; eg:

Ô = an O with a hat on it
à = an A with a squiggly line
Ů = a U with a pom-pom on top
Ş = an S with a comma

Easy peasy! If anyone knows why English doesn’t contain any diacritics then feel free to inform me below, I’d be interested to find out. Seeing as the purpose of a diacritic is to give stress to certain sounds, then maybe English’s lack thereof is indicative that there are no stresses in the language. Although I’m pretty sure that that’s not true, I’m now comparing what it would be like if instead of the word ‘fun’, we had ‘fün’, and it would be pronounced foon. Sorry, just the ramblings of my weary brain escaping there.
Anyway, that’s me finished for now. Get back to me with your best di@críticäl sentence and see if you can put mine to shame!

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